Birthdays and Mad Fat Diaries.

Hello world!
I've had a birthday, I am blessed to be another year older. I have also been blessed to have made it to a quarter of a century,(I have an age and time issue, so this is a little bit sarcastic). Not a lot of people see this as an achievement, but I actually do and therefore I am feeling slightly achieved in something. I hope you readers are well too and generally feeling marvellous. Tonight for some reason, I am feeling very Miranda Hart. Excuse me if I come out with "Such Fun" at some point within this post.
On Friday 11th April, I celebrated my birthday and I dared myself to tell a stranger about it. I am sad to report that I did not tell a stranger that it was my birthday. The thought though had me contemplating on actually doing something like this as a daily thing. So I am started of light, as of tomorrow. I will try to compliment anyone or someone to bring a smile. We all need to smile on Mondays remember?
I felt my birthday had become quite spectacular, only because I was able to leave early from work, gain presents where I least expect them and also a brilliant meal with the best buddy Christina.
Now, there is a restaurant in Taunton that I strongly suggest you visit if you are ever down around that area. The place is called The Old Mexican, it in a beautiful building and I have been walking by it my whole life and have always admired the age the building looked. The restaurant includes the history but with the Mexican feel, also if you have a love for Mexican food it is possibly the only restaurant in Taunton that sales Mexican food. I will point out, there during my time there they did mess up my order and gave me chicken. Which would have been fine if I wasn't a vegetarian. The staff there was very apologetic and gave us a drink and deserts on the house, which made up for the meat incident. I didn't eat the meat, so I felt justified upon this. I will state however that although they messed up my order, the food was still brilliantly amazing and extremely yummy and I would still go back there.
I also came across an old school acquaintance. As soon as we recognise each other, well she recognised me I am pretty rubbish at knowing old faces from my school days. We started talking about what we was doing now. I just remembered seeing how much we both have progressed and developed into adulthood and how well she looked and what she was working for. I remember hating my school years, because I beautifully bullied and was on a couple of occasions still bullied after a few years of school. Just having this conversation with someone from the school and although we have not spoken during our school times, was enough to show me that people can still mature and its our own lives we only work for.

 Saturday night included a brilliant night in of yummy Dominoes pizza, wine, cocktails and movies. Yes, Frozen was the film of choice. Also another film called Because I said So, which had Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore. Diane Keaton, just always have amazing style in her movies. Cocktails resulted in Soda Water explosions!!!

Sunday was a beautiful day at the beach with my family and my brother dog! Such fun!

I also used the weekend of catching up on the Television. I have managed to catch up on the recent series of My Mad Fat Diaries. I find it funny on how much I can relate to Rae, but I suppose I used to be the little fat girl who had a dislike towards her life.
There was a scene in finale of that programme that I want to share with you. Let me explain what My Mad Fat Diary is about first. My Mad Fat Diary is about girl who was admitted to a mental hospital for self-harming, she was able to leave the hospital and then enter the 'real' world. Where she makes friends with a group of people who each have their own problems. Rae also continues to write a diary about her life events and about her therapy sessions to help improve her well-being.
The scene that I want to share with you is when Rae is attending therapy with her therapist Kester (Obviously, I know!). Rae just wants to start liking herself, to get over this hate she has for herself. So Kester kicks her to it, he tells her to imagine a time when she first started to have these feelings of hate for herself. To imagine the little girl who first started these doubts or hate about herself, sitting across from Rae right now on the sofa. Kester then tells Rae to tell that girl every fault she felt about herself and Rae couldn't do it, couldn't call the little girl all the mean names she calls herself in her head. So Kester asks Rae, what would she tell that girl? Rae reply with, "She's alright, in fact she is perfect."
A perfect starting point, to start liking yourself right now.
My advice is that advice from the scene. So whenever you are feeling 'not good enough', 'fat', 'ugly' etcetera. Just stop, take a deep breath and think about what you want to say about yourself. It's about liking yourself first, before you make others feel good about themselves.
Yes, it is still ok to have doubts about certain things. My doubts will always be my weight, but I am still 'good enough' to live my life.

Goodnight!
Claire

Money saving, WHAT?!

Good day readers of the world!

A very happy Monday to you.

There is just something that I want to give to you today, as we all know Mondays and Wednesday can be the hardest days of the week. I have also recently started reading this new book yesterday and there was a quote in it that made me want to change the truthfulness inside of it.

People smile on Fridays, something they tend not to do on any other weekdays.

I read that quote while in the work place and actually looked at everyone around and saw not one smile. It just made me want to smile, so I can give them a little hope. "Hey, it's OK that it is Monday. You know why? Because we are alive to see that Monday."
So, readers of the world. I present you with a computer style happy face. :)
Give a smile everyday of the week, it will be worth it.

 I have also been a little naive lately with the money area. This is actually going to be a long lesson to learn, but I kind of already know the outcome will be worth it. Since moving out of my family home, I have still been treating my cash flow as if I had no responsibility towards bills. Still thinking it OK to splash out on things that I don't actually need, but generally convinced it will make me happy.
No, I am not a shopaholic. Maybe I am when it comes to buying books. No, I generally do have a book addiction. But I know, I just love going around and shopping. It brings me happiness to sail through shops, trying things on and then deciding if it is worth it and then making the ultimate decision, sometimes albeit careless and impulsive decision to buy it. Now that I have entered the independent world of working, paying rent and all other bills, I have realised that I don't actually have the as much as I used to. But I still foolishly try to convince myself otherwise. Naughty.
After years of just spending and buying what I've always wanted. Grabbing a coffee in the typical Starbucks, Costa you name it. I generally thought that having all these materialistic things would be the key to happiness. It is only when it comes to the end of the month, I am realising that I am not happy but constantly stressing over things. Still, I am planning the things I want to buy when the pay day comes.
This is going to be my lesson. It is time to make some cut backs in my life, in order for me to gain that self control of the cash flow.

• Shopping? Lets try window shopping for a while, and if it gets the point where there is an item of clothing or beauty product just so happens to be a need, I will find a cheaper alternative or go into hibernation from the High-street. (Perhaps, I can start a wish list blog every month for me to become more aware of the fashion around me and not buying the things I don't actually need.)
• No, you don't need that coffee or that pit stop refresher in a coffee shop, you never talk to anyone in there anyway and you have coffee at home! 
• Waterstones and other bookshops? HAH! Claire you have 34 books on your shelf that has never been read! Get cracking my dear. Remember the library Claire, the old book smell... Oh yeah. Time to check yourself in for that again.
• Claire, did you know you could be saving at about £18 if you subscribe to your favourite magazine a year?! You didn't? Well... 

Outcomes, I would like to see;

• A newly built savings.
• A more better understanding and value towards money and money saving. I am also hoping, that with this understanding, I will have found an alternative but still stylish way of saving money. 
• A chance to move again and broaden those dreams you have.
• A holiday to places that will provide actual memories.
• An alternative to my need of seeking happiness through shopping, so maybe taking up painting again, actually write a book?! (Hey, Claire. Do you remember your bucket list?).

Lipcote, Primark Haul.

Did you all  remember that time I posted a clothes Haul video? 
One of the products that I did buy, and spoke about it on the video was a lipstick glue like thing?


Well during my weekend, I have had the best friend up around. This include a drunken night out, of exploring bars in Bristol city centre. Also exploring museums and art work.
Currently just fallen in love with an artist called Francis Danby.
Which I request you all research his work. The artist was born from around mid 1800's or early 1900's. His artwork though of oil paintings and sketches I find realistic, but with a tint of something magical and enchanting.

Now, back to the Lipstick saver thingy. I really should just get off my bed and find the actual true name of this product, to make this more helpful.
Ok, I got over my lazy notion!
The product was from Primark, it has been coming out along with their beauty products. It doesn't have any of the Primark logo on it. I just brought it from Primark and at a price of about £2? So, I did get a little bargain? It is called Lipcote.

BACK TO THE REVIEW!
I can't actually remember saying it on the video, but I'm pretty sure I did mention I would do a small review on how it went. Did it keep my lipstick sealed on? Did it last for a long time?

Those questions have been answered. Last night, when Christina and I went out to explore the bars of Bristol. I decided to apply and lovely red colour to my lips and to lock in that colour, I applied the Lipcote on top of the lipstick, left it to set for a few moments and then I was off out for the night.
Applying it is easy, using the brush that is provided. Just sweep it over the lipstick, there is a small amount of tingling upon the lips as it settles, but it is quick to disappear.
The most important questions answered though; Yes, this product did keep the lipstick sealed on for a long period of time and it didn't leave that washed off look after having your lips around a glass through each sip of drink.
My lips at the end of the night had more a lip stained look, instead of a blotchy end of the era of the lipstick.
I did only have to reapply the lipstick once during that night, instead of at least five or six times that comes normal.
So, yes a product that I would recommend!

Good evening and good night!

It

This book came out a year ago and I remember the uproar of how terrible the book was and how disappointed of some fans and readers alike was.
I remember the disappointment filling my twitter feed and had me reluctant to purchase this book.
I remember the day I actually bought this book. It was the beginning of the year and I was having some serious fashion feels. I needed something I could read and have some sense of self style. This book appeared before me and I remember thinking to myself, "I forgot about this book ever being created."
I remember picking it up and sitting on a sofa in Waterstones across this lady with half greying hair. She looked like a hiker, in some interesting hiking boots. I remember feeling very glammed up next to her and her eyes piercing into the side of my head as she watched me sit down with this pink hardback on my lap.

I remember flipping through the pages of this book and staring at some of the instagram styled photos that had me feeling jealous of how artistic they are.
I spent half an hour in Waterstones reading parts of the books, the husband of the lady came and exchanged some 'what are going to do next?' discussions before disappearing and purchasing the books within his hands. The lady stayed for some time afterwards, but then finally disappearing into the world of shopping with her husband.
The first paged will always struck me as the love of horses was never really the love of horses. But the love of the clothes she could wear. I related, I had always loved the world of cheerleading, but only for the costumes they wore. I had always been a fan minimalism. The girls bands we tried imitating and those crazy hair styles we wanted when we was younger. I personally remember getting my hairdresser back then, to cut my hair like the Olsen twins from Two of a Kind.

I took the book home and made it a statement around my make-up table. A month passed and I picked it up to give it a read, it lasted me a day.
I can understand the disappointment. I felt it too on some pages.
I also felt that reading a book, I didn't quite understand the point of it.
Then I remembered the reason as to why I was reading the book. I wanted to read something that had an understanding of a sense of style.
I remember finishing the book and developed an understanding of Alexa Chung style, the way she is. What inspired her to dress the way she does.
I remember it also gave me an understanding of how and what I want to dress like. People and their wardrobes that inspire the way I would like to dress.
It also gave me an understanding of what I want to be. An inspiration to others.

A book that had so many bad reviews, turns out to be one of my most inspiring book, I have ever come across.
With this book, it has given me more ideas to write about. More ideas on what and who I would like to be inspired from. It also gave me the determination to clean out my car of CD's and restack them with music I actually enjoy.

So, ta Alexa Chung for being one of my muse, in creating my wardrobe now and in the future and also thank you for letting me realise how I am still unique.

Claire x

Saturday, Clothes Show NEC!

Hello world!
How are we all? Good? Me?
Well, I am still feeling pretty much nostalgic from the whole Clothes Show Live at the NEC in Birmingham. The weekend was really fun and totally the BEST TIME EVER!
I went with an old colleague of mine before I moved to Bristol, Danielle... (Danielle and you other girls... I MISS YOU!! *Backwards Tick*. They will understand). She just had to be the best person ever to go with, she understands the need to shop, admire creativity and also that it ok I live with my camera!
So, to any of you people out there, that does not know what a Clothes Show Live is? Let me elaborate for you:
The Clothes Show Live is held at the NEC, which is in Birmingham. You can pay up to about £30 for a ticket and you have choice of over three-four days to choose from, it will pretty much cover a weekend. Everyone does their best shopping over the weekend. I would say, that you need to have at least one whole day to spend at the NEC because, when you arrive there, there is loads of stalls from various boutiques, clothing, make-up, beauty products, acessories and even some home ware products. Yes, a whole day will do nicely for some extreme shopping extravaganza!
When you also pay for that ticket, you are also taken to the main theatre, where they do a runway of clothing and models, include a few dancers and story telling theme and you have just seen the Clothes Show Live. The main theatre is always my favourite part and the main reason I am forever wanting to go, (this is my third time attending) I love just watching fashion shows and catwalk models. I find them beautiful, I never want to be them, I find the creation they wear is amazing and I would love to work to create one or make a story related theme for them to walk down the catwalk too.
Also one of the great reason I keep going back, is that I love seeing what everyone is wearing. Everyone, including myself like to dress really well to these sort of things, always sticking to the fashion and sticking to their own style of clothing. I love seeing how everyone are so creative with their blank canvas of a face and the clay they mould to create their own clothes. Everyone always look so beautiful.
This is what I wore to the show:


I mainly stuck with the colour green, as that has been this season colour. It is also my colour.




Another and completely pointless meaning for attending the Clothes Show Live in my opinion and that is the celebrities. Ok, I only wanted to go because I heard Henry Holland was hosting the show, but thats besides the point! The point I really want to make is the times I saw girls running and chasing these people through the stalls to get a photo or what not. I was here for the shopping and the shopping only.
Which I did really well with!
I found some of the products there was amazing. I bought loads of makeup, that I am really looking forward to trying out. One of the exciting things that I have purchased was from Jelly Pong Pong, for £5 I got four products. A Lip Blush, Eye liner, Wake me up palate and a bronzer. I have always been meaning to buy a bronzer and never got round to it, so now that I have one I have no reason to not use it! £10 and I got a Barry M goodie bag, that is filled with a couple of eye crayons, eye pencil, glitter pots, nail varnish and this most amazing eye mascara I have ever tried. I mean it seperated my eye lashes amazingly well.
£10 on probably the best shoes I have ever seen. BEAUTIFUL! An amazing dress and some magazines that I also felt was a steal. I mean come on Elle, £3 for O.P.I nail polish and St Tropez tanning thingy and two of your magazines!? BEST BARGAIN EVER! I really should just subscribe to them.

A Good Kick Up The...

Hello World, how are you?
Ok, I have been on this page an hour now and I still haven't wrote anything. Only because I found this online shopping website and fallen in love with the sweaters...
I mean, I want!

I think I might be a little hooked and possibly found some form shopping for my winter wardrobe. I just need a pay day! 

The website for all you people that do want to know is.

www.jollychic.com 

Now, to put that one aside and to actually write what it was I am meant to be writing and that is..... 

To stop worrying about what other people think of you, and stopping yourself from doing something you want to do because you feel people will judge you.

Do you remember back in Secondary School (or High School), where you would stop yourself from doing something you really wanted to do because you fear that you are going to be judged or just being succumbed to peer pressure?

Yes?

I still do too. Only, it turns out to be a bit more extreme than what I actually thought it was. I will literally stop myself from doing anything that is remotely 'me' because I am too scared that people will judge me. 

Some people will deny this, but that is because I am so comfortable around them. This will take up to one-two years. But once I am comfortable around that person, I am able to be who I truly am. I am still young and trying to 'find myself' in this life. 

So lately as I am now in a new situation. Living on my own in a big city, in a shared house with some nice people but strangers and working with a whole new bunch of people. I have been finding myself physically unable to speak up my mind. This is one of the most frustrating traits I have and it is one of the most needed traits I need! Another thing that have been happening, is this increase in fear. I get so scared to go and shower every morning in fear that people will judge me for my need to shower every morning!

I'm a little hygienic obsessed in some areas. I like to be clean. 

Scared to turn on my blow dryer in the morning, that I might wake people up in the morning and then get angry at me for being too noisy! 

The worst one is reluctant to live your life, in fear that I will be judge in a new place where I quite clearly want to be accepted.

It's these little things and many more, that has me on edge for a bit until I am more comfortable. 

I've actually found sharing these thoughts with you, a huge relaxing process. What I do want to do is work towards putting these fears or worries behind me and to get on doing what it is I would like to do, that will make me happy. 

During my years since leaving school, I have noticed that no one actually cares what you do. So what you walk down Oxford Street screeching like a siren during Christmas period because no one will move out of your way. No one really cares that you do that, sure some will find you annoying and some will simply laugh at you and shrug it off. Do they really care about you enough to do that? The answer really is: No. All they want to do is what they are there to do. Get the shopping, then go home to their families or friends and live the reality they are happy in.

So, why can't I do that? People value a spoken mind (within reason, theres a fine line between speaking your mind and just being plain rude). Humans react more to a smile upon their face and good laughter. I don't know about you, but the most inspiring people are the ones who are living/working towards their dreams, doing something they are passionate about and working really hard with that passion. They have their own insecurities but they don't let them out as much as moaning minnie would, they joke about themselves with a smile and understand what is being said. They have their heads held high as they push through life, doing what makes them or the ones they truly care about happy and although they do give a damn what other people are judging them for, they just shoot them down or adapt their ways to suit the world needs. 

I want to be that person. I want to hold my head high, admit my mistakes. Most importantly LEARN from my mistakes. Doing what it is, I want to do without being too scared of the prejudice out there.

To regret nothing.

London baby!

Hello!

From the 23rd August to the 25th August, Christin and I went for a little adventure to London. We two country Somerset lasses exploring the big wide city. A lot of Oooh and Aaah happened. Well no, not really. I've been to London so many times in my life, I pretty much feel like I live there, minus the fact that everytime I go there, I am always in a new place.
We stayed in a beautiful hotel in the West of Ealing called Best Western Maitrise Suites/Apartments hotel. It is absolutely amazing there! It just felt like home, where you can go in with a handy kitchen and just make yourself meals etc. The problem I had with the hotel was the place, because the theatre was quite a distance, but that was easily solved with book reading and phones games during those journeys on the tube.
When we got to London via the great Berrys bus, we actually did arrive at the hotel quite early. So we started, what actually consumed our whole weekend pretty much and that was reading Miranda Hart- Is It Just Me biography. Christina and I pretty much spent most evenings reading the book out loud to each other during our wine filled trek back from the centre. The great thing about the book so far (I am still reading it), is that as you are reading it, you are reading it in Miranda voice. Miranda has made it written in her style of communication. The challenge me and Christina had set up, was to try and read the book in Miranda voice where we are. At the end of this blog, you will see me reading a section in the book, as I read it in the park!

That Friday evening, we went to see this amazing play- The Cripple of Inishmaan! So, I went to watch this play with no idea on what I was I going to watch. Turning a naive eye towards the whole thing and refusing point blankly on finding out what I was about to watch. All I knew was that Daniel Radcliffe was in it, and being the lame ass Harry Potter fan I was, I was abit like... I have to watch this and see what he has done with himself!
With all this in mind, I can honestly say that this was the best decision of my life! The whole thing was amazing. Just a few minutes into the play and you are laughing at the characters, during the whole play you are torn between two emotions of  happiness through the comedy side, but then there was time where you would develop a lump in the throat because your filled with emotions for the characters.
Daniel Radcliffe himself, it is safe to say that he is no longer Harry Potter. You can find him in J.K.Rowling books, he never left you. But the Harry Potter in Daniel Radcliffe is no longer there, you can say the same for Emma Watson and for Tom Felton. I have no idea what happened to Rupert Grint!? Daniel has proven that night on how much he has progressed as an actor. Remember when you first watched him on screen as either David Copperfield or Harry Potter. I remembered being enchanted but also awkward. He has come a long way and he will just keep getting better.
There was a lot of clapping, my hands did hurt! A lot of "Wow" and "That was just amazing" between me and Christina. We then decided to just take the journey back to Ealing, but not without passing through Trafalgar Square, where we saw a giant blue cock? What is up with that London? During the tube ride, we ended up talking to a group of drunken people, who was recommending bars for us to go to during our time in Ealing. I just love talking to strangers about anything, so they literally made my night! We did take their advice and visited at least one bar, where they served COCKTAILS! Yum to the classic Mojito I had!
On Saturday, oh my days wasn't it wet. By the end of it I felt like a bloody duck! I was done! I love rain, like the next person who doesn't like the heat to much, but that was enough! I honestly did had enough! It was that day that we went for a random stroll, it was worth it though, as we found an off street book shop, which I will never find again but I loved being in there and brought a new book! Frank Kafka, I once upon of time was talking to this man who was quite literally in love with the author. I mean, he turned everything to a quote from Kafka. It got on my nerves, but I am about to read what the fuss was about!?
Victoria and Albert museum with the exhibition of The Catwalk of the 1980's. That was amazing, I love to nerd it out to history of fashion. Always have and always will. I will like to point out the exhibition is a must go and see, if you have a love for fashion and for the history of fashion. It still interest me how 'style' has escalated throughout the years.
This pretty much brings us back to, more wine drinking and more Miranda Hart book readings in Miranda's voice!
Sunday, the time has come for us to check out. Fifteen minutes before we do, we smash a bottle of wine. Why? Because we are so rock'n'roll! It literally has nothing to do with me smacking my head on the fridge door, because I dropped something and knocking it out of the fridge itself. Nothing at all!

Why have a onesie?

Hello guys!
I am back, yes I am back! I have had such a great weekend in London, although I am a bit sad that I missed the Reading and Leeds festival. It sounded really great as I listen to it on Radio one, despite the weather.

Now to the point.
I hate onesies, I really do hate them with a passion. One time my mother brought me one for Christmas and when I told her I don't understand why she brought it for me. Her reply was, "They are in fashion and all the cool kids are wearing them!"
She then had to go on Facebook to show pictures of my then 17-18 year old cousin wearing them. I was filled with guilt that she brought this terrible thing for me, that I just had to wear them that night. It was horrible.
People I know, love to wear onesies to lounge around in and to relax in.
Personally I have to say this, why wear a onesie when you can wear a large Jersey?
I bought a really large Jersey during my time in London, so I can wear it when I just want to unwind in my house and relax after a long day at work. Its from New Look, so the price was reasonable of course!

The item, it quite literally the best thing to unwind and relax in. I am wearing it tonight before I return back to work and with a face mask on and listening to Radio one. You can say I am in girlie heaven!