I do hope you had a brilliant weekend this time round. More sun, less fog. It seemed like the perfect weekend!
I think this post might be a bit serious tonight, as I just come to a realisation.
I may upset a friend writing this post, but I want to get this point across. She doesn't seem to understand my rebellion and neither do a lot of people I am involved around, such as colleagues and other close friends. This weekend I spent a couple of nights with an old school friend and her two year old daughter, it was a weekend filled with mummy and daughter and entertaining the child.
When I saw feminism being posted upon on the internet or whilst I am reading a magazine, I would just skip right past it or read a few lines of it and scoff at it. I had always thought that feminism was overrated and a silly notion, that women should just accept the fact that men would always get paid better then we would, that our place would be in the kitchen, cooking them meals over a round belly. Reproducing and nurturing children to be respectful of the others and to guide them for the future that they are going to bring us.
I grew up with that thought, I watched my own mother do it. Tried to go back to university to study Nursing, quit college a couple of times because it was too stressful for her, with three young children around. I also watched her go back to university and complete the course and is now a nurse at the local hospital.
I remember back in Primary School, and a teacher asked us: "What do you want to be when you are older?" I remember my reply was, "settling down in Wales with a great husband and a good family." I remember my first choice, was to write books and become an author. I stopped myself saying something I have dreamed about and to say something that was expected of me. I continued on for a few years with the same attitude and the dream locked away, because the thought I would never be good enough. Other dreams came along and took it's placed, but my obsession with books still kept it's place and so did my imagination. I wanted to be a fashion designer, I wanted to continue my interest in drawing and exploring art to create beautiful things. I stupidly took Childcare for work experience, because it was the only thing they could easily get me into. They also encouraged me into that carer, because they knew I was guaranteed a job within that field and then fall in love and have those glorious children.
It was college where I realised that I was actually a human and that I can express myself through my uniquness, created some fantastic friends who admired that. But they also shared the same thoughts, to have children after a few years in Childcare. Majority of the people in that course are now happily playing family.
It was once when I entered the working world I realised I was alive and believe me, when you are presented with your own thought after having half of your life being decided upon you. It came a shock, and a huge time to process that in fact, my job is not who I am and the dreams are flooding back in.
My thought process still remained the same, keep your mouth shut and continue to work hard, do what is expected of you and never speak of your dreams. Only to do what is expected of you.
The truth is, the thought of becoming married and having children is the most revolting and disgusting thing to ever come into my mind. Yes, I have done the whole "what would you name your children?" Only because, that is generally the conversation we have at work, or what Saturday night TV is going on. Saturday night TV, is the most ugliest TV I have ever seen.
I also think that the human is becoming over populated on earth and we should lower the reproduction rate, before we can't fit.
I am now understanding Feminism so much more, because here I am with a mind, with the power of speech and although I am still learning to find my voice.
I am now understanding that I don't need a husband in my life or children to make other people around me happy. No, I have a dream of becoming a writer and I have a fantastic imagination.
Women should now have the courage to speak their mind, to be who they want to be. Yes, that may mean becoming a wife, a mother or whoever they want to be! Everyone an every being have their own power to live the life they wish to live. Mine just so happen to be something different.
I believe in feminism because I shouldn't have to be someone's wife or mother.
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