I've had a birthday, I am blessed to be another year older. I have also been blessed to have made it to a quarter of a century,(I have an age and time issue, so this is a little bit sarcastic). Not a lot of people see this as an achievement, but I actually do and therefore I am feeling slightly achieved in something. I hope you readers are well too and generally feeling marvellous. Tonight for some reason, I am feeling very Miranda Hart. Excuse me if I come out with "Such Fun" at some point within this post.
On Friday 11th April, I celebrated my birthday and I dared myself to tell a stranger about it. I am sad to report that I did not tell a stranger that it was my birthday. The thought though had me contemplating on actually doing something like this as a daily thing. So I am started of light, as of tomorrow. I will try to compliment anyone or someone to bring a smile. We all need to smile on Mondays remember?
I felt my birthday had become quite spectacular, only because I was able to leave early from work, gain presents where I least expect them and also a brilliant meal with the best buddy Christina.
Now, there is a restaurant in Taunton that I strongly suggest you visit if you are ever down around that area. The place is called The Old Mexican, it in a beautiful building and I have been walking by it my whole life and have always admired the age the building looked. The restaurant includes the history but with the Mexican feel, also if you have a love for Mexican food it is possibly the only restaurant in Taunton that sales Mexican food. I will point out, there during my time there they did mess up my order and gave me chicken. Which would have been fine if I wasn't a vegetarian. The staff there was very apologetic and gave us a drink and deserts on the house, which made up for the meat incident. I didn't eat the meat, so I felt justified upon this. I will state however that although they messed up my order, the food was still brilliantly amazing and extremely yummy and I would still go back there.
I also came across an old school acquaintance. As soon as we recognise each other, well she recognised me I am pretty rubbish at knowing old faces from my school days. We started talking about what we was doing now. I just remembered seeing how much we both have progressed and developed into adulthood and how well she looked and what she was working for. I remember hating my school years, because I beautifully bullied and was on a couple of occasions still bullied after a few years of school. Just having this conversation with someone from the school and although we have not spoken during our school times, was enough to show me that people can still mature and its our own lives we only work for.
I also used the weekend of catching up on the Television. I have managed to catch up on the recent series of My Mad Fat Diaries. I find it funny on how much I can relate to Rae, but I suppose I used to be the little fat girl who had a dislike towards her life.
There was a scene in finale of that programme that I want to share with you. Let me explain what My Mad Fat Diary is about first. My Mad Fat Diary is about girl who was admitted to a mental hospital for self-harming, she was able to leave the hospital and then enter the 'real' world. Where she makes friends with a group of people who each have their own problems. Rae also continues to write a diary about her life events and about her therapy sessions to help improve her well-being.
The scene that I want to share with you is when Rae is attending therapy with her therapist Kester (Obviously, I know!). Rae just wants to start liking herself, to get over this hate she has for herself. So Kester kicks her to it, he tells her to imagine a time when she first started to have these feelings of hate for herself. To imagine the little girl who first started these doubts or hate about herself, sitting across from Rae right now on the sofa. Kester then tells Rae to tell that girl every fault she felt about herself and Rae couldn't do it, couldn't call the little girl all the mean names she calls herself in her head. So Kester asks Rae, what would she tell that girl? Rae reply with, "She's alright, in fact she is perfect."
A perfect starting point, to start liking yourself right now.
My advice is that advice from the scene. So whenever you are feeling 'not good enough', 'fat', 'ugly' etcetera. Just stop, take a deep breath and think about what you want to say about yourself. It's about liking yourself first, before you make others feel good about themselves.
Yes, it is still ok to have doubts about certain things. My doubts will always be my weight, but I am still 'good enough' to live my life.
Goodnight!
Claire
