Birthdays and Mad Fat Diaries.

Hello world!
I've had a birthday, I am blessed to be another year older. I have also been blessed to have made it to a quarter of a century,(I have an age and time issue, so this is a little bit sarcastic). Not a lot of people see this as an achievement, but I actually do and therefore I am feeling slightly achieved in something. I hope you readers are well too and generally feeling marvellous. Tonight for some reason, I am feeling very Miranda Hart. Excuse me if I come out with "Such Fun" at some point within this post.
On Friday 11th April, I celebrated my birthday and I dared myself to tell a stranger about it. I am sad to report that I did not tell a stranger that it was my birthday. The thought though had me contemplating on actually doing something like this as a daily thing. So I am started of light, as of tomorrow. I will try to compliment anyone or someone to bring a smile. We all need to smile on Mondays remember?
I felt my birthday had become quite spectacular, only because I was able to leave early from work, gain presents where I least expect them and also a brilliant meal with the best buddy Christina.
Now, there is a restaurant in Taunton that I strongly suggest you visit if you are ever down around that area. The place is called The Old Mexican, it in a beautiful building and I have been walking by it my whole life and have always admired the age the building looked. The restaurant includes the history but with the Mexican feel, also if you have a love for Mexican food it is possibly the only restaurant in Taunton that sales Mexican food. I will point out, there during my time there they did mess up my order and gave me chicken. Which would have been fine if I wasn't a vegetarian. The staff there was very apologetic and gave us a drink and deserts on the house, which made up for the meat incident. I didn't eat the meat, so I felt justified upon this. I will state however that although they messed up my order, the food was still brilliantly amazing and extremely yummy and I would still go back there.
I also came across an old school acquaintance. As soon as we recognise each other, well she recognised me I am pretty rubbish at knowing old faces from my school days. We started talking about what we was doing now. I just remembered seeing how much we both have progressed and developed into adulthood and how well she looked and what she was working for. I remember hating my school years, because I beautifully bullied and was on a couple of occasions still bullied after a few years of school. Just having this conversation with someone from the school and although we have not spoken during our school times, was enough to show me that people can still mature and its our own lives we only work for.

 Saturday night included a brilliant night in of yummy Dominoes pizza, wine, cocktails and movies. Yes, Frozen was the film of choice. Also another film called Because I said So, which had Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore. Diane Keaton, just always have amazing style in her movies. Cocktails resulted in Soda Water explosions!!!

Sunday was a beautiful day at the beach with my family and my brother dog! Such fun!

I also used the weekend of catching up on the Television. I have managed to catch up on the recent series of My Mad Fat Diaries. I find it funny on how much I can relate to Rae, but I suppose I used to be the little fat girl who had a dislike towards her life.
There was a scene in finale of that programme that I want to share with you. Let me explain what My Mad Fat Diary is about first. My Mad Fat Diary is about girl who was admitted to a mental hospital for self-harming, she was able to leave the hospital and then enter the 'real' world. Where she makes friends with a group of people who each have their own problems. Rae also continues to write a diary about her life events and about her therapy sessions to help improve her well-being.
The scene that I want to share with you is when Rae is attending therapy with her therapist Kester (Obviously, I know!). Rae just wants to start liking herself, to get over this hate she has for herself. So Kester kicks her to it, he tells her to imagine a time when she first started to have these feelings of hate for herself. To imagine the little girl who first started these doubts or hate about herself, sitting across from Rae right now on the sofa. Kester then tells Rae to tell that girl every fault she felt about herself and Rae couldn't do it, couldn't call the little girl all the mean names she calls herself in her head. So Kester asks Rae, what would she tell that girl? Rae reply with, "She's alright, in fact she is perfect."
A perfect starting point, to start liking yourself right now.
My advice is that advice from the scene. So whenever you are feeling 'not good enough', 'fat', 'ugly' etcetera. Just stop, take a deep breath and think about what you want to say about yourself. It's about liking yourself first, before you make others feel good about themselves.
Yes, it is still ok to have doubts about certain things. My doubts will always be my weight, but I am still 'good enough' to live my life.

Goodnight!
Claire

Today is.... A day to STOP reading Fanfiction!

Ok, Brits! Let's get excited about this one!
Hello readers of the world!

  Today is Pancake day, or Shrove Tuesday.
Just been on Wikipedia to see what the internet has to say about Shrove Tuesday and I came across this paragraph, which I think has helped me to come to a final decision on what I am going to give up for Lent. What I am considering on giving up might actually be a very hard and poisonous thought to even comprehend. Before I go into what it is, allow me to show you the paragraph from Wikipedia;

The expression "Shrove Tuesday" comes from the word shrive, meaning "confess".^[1] Shrove Tuesday is observed by many Christians, including Anglicans, Lutherans, Methodists and Roman Catholics,^[2] who "make a special point of self-examination, of considering what wrongs they need to repent, and what amendments of life or areas of spiritual growth they especially need to ask God's help in dealing with."^[3] Being the last day before the penitential season of Lent, related popular practices, such as indulging in food that one sacrifices for the upcoming forty days, are associated with Shrove Tuesday celebrations, before commencing the fasting and religious obligations associated with Lent

**I know many can change Wikipedia information, so I'm not 100% on the accuracy of this information, but when I find the time to channel my inner religious Christianity shenanigans I will develop a better understanding, (please also note; I have no wish to channel my brought up Christianity belief and would like to stick to my constant two fights within my mind of believing in faeries and other mystical creatures as well as my belief in the big bang theory.) **

The sentence I have taken away and will attempt to implement as part of giving up something for lent **Ok, I'm British, it is apart of our culture to celebrate these things.**
"make a special point of self-examination, of considering what wrongs they need to repent, and what amendments of life or areas of spiritual growth."
This is a bit ironic, as of course I have been thinking far to much of my life and things I would need to improve on. I have been thinking of things that is preventing me, procrastinating from doing something productive. That would actually make me more happier and working towards actual life goals.
It's no common secret that I am unhappy with my life ways at the moment, and typing about them is becoming a bit of repetitive and dull thing to do.
 It is also a common knowledge that everyone finds it easier to give up food for Lent, in hope that it will help them take more self-control of their lives or to help them feel better within themselves emotionally and also physically. I mean it is normally something unhealthy when taken into addictive amount. I understand the whole self-control, there are a lot of things in life nowadays where you can feel totally out of control and it is hard to feel back on track again. I have given up bread the last two years for lent and it has helped me a lot to feel like I am in control, as well as feeling a lot more healthier.
This year though, I am taking a slightly different approach in hope that I will become more productive with my ways? Along with giving up chocolate (I have really badly indulged in chocolate within the last six months it should be criminal). I am also going to try and give up reading Fanfiction. Reading Fanfiction has provided me with an alternative escape route from reality. I have sadly become terribly addictive towards reading some disturbing and will lets face it indecent contents from some very serious strange teenage girls and boys.
I know they feel the need to write these things, to fit in, to share their love of the fandom they are apart of. For me though, I am feeling the effects of the poor grammar and the lack of imagination. I was once upon a time a very imaginative person, but lately a lot has been effected by Fanfiction. So, now is enough. Books, art, enchanting, heck even a walk through trees to rebuild this head of mine, to help me write something more better than actually whining about how unhappy my life if spiralling.

I'm basically going to concentrate upon those 5 things. (Which I should write down) in my previous post.

I am also on my holiday this week, so a good time to give this up for lent and to work on being productive with my life and to deal with it. Although the beginning of my week didn't go down to well and currently questioning life with music.
I hope you will have a new blog post everyday this week.

Happy Pancake Day my readers, eat loads, enjoy loads!
Claire.

Movie nights.

Hello world.

It has been one of those long weeks, stressful, depressive and just generally a bad week. 

With the exception of Wednesday night, I went out to meet my good friend Jesse! I missed her loads and was so happy to spend a good amount of time with her. 

It also brings me to question the whole picking up men at 'happy hour', I mean what is up with that? Ok, let's make it clear. I got chatted up and felt the self confidence that yes, let's give this a go! The crap thing is the one'o'clock morning 'booty call' I had last night. 

Now to make the dreadful long week better?

Wine and movies!! Really craving Harry Potter! It my go to escape thing, so a Harry Potter thing is needed.

Ok, not Harry Potter yet!