The war of Feminism.

The weekend was filled with beautiful weather and glorious sunshine. That I decided to take advantage of it and wear a skirt. A skater skirt to be exact and to top it off, I went bare legs. I decided to be brave enough to bare my legs in hope they gain some sun on them. For me personally I rarely show off much above the knee, but with the skater skirt we are meeting mid thigh. It was a daring approach on my behalf and I attempted the confident walk. I was nervous to walk out of the door, even though I was extremely comfortable in the outfit I have chosen.
Walking through the streets into town, I was met with longer stares from passers by, whether they was in cars, bikes or by foot. I was met by 'wolf whistles' (do we still call it that any more?), a couple of beeps of the horns.
I was enjoying this attention I was gaining. It was making me feel more confident for walking down the street. I could feel my stride being more confident, my back becoming straighter and I was holding my head up high. I was glowing in this attention and I was happy with my body that day.

(Not my legs by the way)

I was then met with conflicted emotions. Should I feel that way? I was enjoying the attention from the opposite sex that was objectifying me. I shouldn't be enjoying this. We are living in an age where women and men should be treated as equal. Shouldn't I be disgusted by this? Should I have cringed and shied away from the attention I was getting, because they was not admiring my mind or intelligence but the body I have displayed?

I then remember all the times, I have passed a man I do not know and objectify them. Admiring their built, the way their hair is and the way they have such piercing blue eyes. I'm a huge sucker for admiring dark hair and blue eyed men. It turns out, that in this age men and women are being equal with each other by admiring the bodies we have been given. There wasn't a war of feminism in the way I was being called out for braving the weather and bearing my legs. It was common. Men are still open and still like to vocalise their admiration of women. Whereas we women are still content in being more private and quiet about our admiration. Perhaps we should be more vocal like the opposite sex? Well, I don't know about you but I still prefer being secretive about it. 

So I decided to just embrace it. I felt comfortable in my own body, I was able to go out showing a little more leg than what I normally would have done. In return for my 'out of the normal' actions, I was met with in some ways an appreciative response that made me feel more comfortable and more confident in my body. I'm not saying it was appropriate, but it did for once make me feel sexy. Which is something I am not quite familiar in feeling. I turned it over for my own personal gain and made myself feel better. 

When I was thinking all this over, I kept referring back to this one 'How I Met You Mother' episode I watched. Where the gang all went to a gay bar. The boys was happy and thrilled to be gaining attention and being 'hit on' by other boys at the bar, where as the girls was happy for not gaining any attention. After awhile the boys grew tiresome of the attention and the girls soon craved for it. 

We as human beings love attention and if it means being subjected to being objectify for it, then so be it. At least we are being appreciated and if it makes you feel loads happier or more confident, then we shouldn't say no right?

Claire.

Birthdays and Mad Fat Diaries.

Hello world!
I've had a birthday, I am blessed to be another year older. I have also been blessed to have made it to a quarter of a century,(I have an age and time issue, so this is a little bit sarcastic). Not a lot of people see this as an achievement, but I actually do and therefore I am feeling slightly achieved in something. I hope you readers are well too and generally feeling marvellous. Tonight for some reason, I am feeling very Miranda Hart. Excuse me if I come out with "Such Fun" at some point within this post.
On Friday 11th April, I celebrated my birthday and I dared myself to tell a stranger about it. I am sad to report that I did not tell a stranger that it was my birthday. The thought though had me contemplating on actually doing something like this as a daily thing. So I am started of light, as of tomorrow. I will try to compliment anyone or someone to bring a smile. We all need to smile on Mondays remember?
I felt my birthday had become quite spectacular, only because I was able to leave early from work, gain presents where I least expect them and also a brilliant meal with the best buddy Christina.
Now, there is a restaurant in Taunton that I strongly suggest you visit if you are ever down around that area. The place is called The Old Mexican, it in a beautiful building and I have been walking by it my whole life and have always admired the age the building looked. The restaurant includes the history but with the Mexican feel, also if you have a love for Mexican food it is possibly the only restaurant in Taunton that sales Mexican food. I will point out, there during my time there they did mess up my order and gave me chicken. Which would have been fine if I wasn't a vegetarian. The staff there was very apologetic and gave us a drink and deserts on the house, which made up for the meat incident. I didn't eat the meat, so I felt justified upon this. I will state however that although they messed up my order, the food was still brilliantly amazing and extremely yummy and I would still go back there.
I also came across an old school acquaintance. As soon as we recognise each other, well she recognised me I am pretty rubbish at knowing old faces from my school days. We started talking about what we was doing now. I just remembered seeing how much we both have progressed and developed into adulthood and how well she looked and what she was working for. I remember hating my school years, because I beautifully bullied and was on a couple of occasions still bullied after a few years of school. Just having this conversation with someone from the school and although we have not spoken during our school times, was enough to show me that people can still mature and its our own lives we only work for.

 Saturday night included a brilliant night in of yummy Dominoes pizza, wine, cocktails and movies. Yes, Frozen was the film of choice. Also another film called Because I said So, which had Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore. Diane Keaton, just always have amazing style in her movies. Cocktails resulted in Soda Water explosions!!!

Sunday was a beautiful day at the beach with my family and my brother dog! Such fun!

I also used the weekend of catching up on the Television. I have managed to catch up on the recent series of My Mad Fat Diaries. I find it funny on how much I can relate to Rae, but I suppose I used to be the little fat girl who had a dislike towards her life.
There was a scene in finale of that programme that I want to share with you. Let me explain what My Mad Fat Diary is about first. My Mad Fat Diary is about girl who was admitted to a mental hospital for self-harming, she was able to leave the hospital and then enter the 'real' world. Where she makes friends with a group of people who each have their own problems. Rae also continues to write a diary about her life events and about her therapy sessions to help improve her well-being.
The scene that I want to share with you is when Rae is attending therapy with her therapist Kester (Obviously, I know!). Rae just wants to start liking herself, to get over this hate she has for herself. So Kester kicks her to it, he tells her to imagine a time when she first started to have these feelings of hate for herself. To imagine the little girl who first started these doubts or hate about herself, sitting across from Rae right now on the sofa. Kester then tells Rae to tell that girl every fault she felt about herself and Rae couldn't do it, couldn't call the little girl all the mean names she calls herself in her head. So Kester asks Rae, what would she tell that girl? Rae reply with, "She's alright, in fact she is perfect."
A perfect starting point, to start liking yourself right now.
My advice is that advice from the scene. So whenever you are feeling 'not good enough', 'fat', 'ugly' etcetera. Just stop, take a deep breath and think about what you want to say about yourself. It's about liking yourself first, before you make others feel good about themselves.
Yes, it is still ok to have doubts about certain things. My doubts will always be my weight, but I am still 'good enough' to live my life.

Goodnight!
Claire