Sunday 30 June 2013

Sunday!

Hello readers!

This Sunday just has to be the best Sunday I have had in awhile. Okay, I had a great Sunday when I was at the Isle Of Wight Festival. But this Sunday just had to be the best in a different way.
Lately I have been busy thinking of things I 'need' to do, instead of things I want to do. Always panicking with what am I going to do with my life?!
I have been trying to 'force' myself to draw pictures and write things. But this 'forcing' has not been very effective on me and had me feeling nostalgic. So the reason why this Sunday was the best Sunday ever, was because today I decided to stop.
I got back from my food shopping, after putting it away I just stood at the back door and thought "I just want to sit in that sun and read my book".
That is literally what I did. I changed into shorts and bikini and spent two hours outside, reading my book.
After that two hours, the book was put down the Ipod was put in, closing my eyes and just switched the head off. Letting the music occupy my mind, I was sent into calm, meditated state of mind. Kind of like entering some form of 'enlightenment' in the turns of Buddhism. Once my eyes was open, I knew I was ready  to tackle the rest of the day.
Just those few hours to just stop, and not have to think, was the best decision I have done today!

I'm not sure if my body will agree with that tomorrow...
Ouch!
Oh, and in case you was wondering. I am currently reading Kurt Cobain by Christopher Sandford.
And I was listening to Bloc Party.

Thursday 27 June 2013

CV (Resume)

They recommend that you should update your CV every so often, so you don't have to panic so much when it comes to the time in your life where you are now job hunting.
I didn't follow that through.
So now, I am having to go through the task of trying to update/create a new CV for various positions I wish to apply for.

The major trouble is trying to create a CV that looks appealing, or in better terms. Trying to create a CV that sounds so creative and amazing, that the manager or the applicator would HAVE to meet you, because they are naturally curious as to who could write this amazing thing!
I mean, when these people are reading those CV or covering letters, they are bound to be reading the same thing again and again. So I always want to try and spice it up and sound more creative!
Another difficulty is trying to sound professsional. Being professional is one of my skills, so I actually don't have any problems.
And this is some pointers that might actually help you to sound professional.
  • Buy a dictionary! Or a Thesaurus, sometimes writing a different word, rather than the commonly used word makes you sound more professional than normal.
  • Keep those emotions at bay! No one wants to hear your drama or your boyfriend doing this or that.
  • Hide that personal life. Let them in on your hobbies and your interest. What you did last weekend, or what you cat was doing last night, is just a no. Not until you got that job!

The main thing! Is to sound confident! I'm not confident. I am constantly struck with fear when trying to do new and terrifying things. So forcing myself.... No encouraging myself to think outside of the comfort box has got my nerves tingling!  
Creating a new CV and trying to sound confident, creative and professional. Has me nervous and constricted

Saturday 22 June 2013

YouTube

Hey, I finally finished editing my recordings of my time at the Isle Of Wight festival.
Here you go?!


What do you think?

Thursday 20 June 2013

Reading fun!

I finished The Great Gatsby last night! It was possibly one of the best reads I have had since The Perks Of Being a Wallflower. And the Perks is possibly in my top 5 book chart that I have composed inside my head.
I don't want to give the story away.
But I think I was the only person who didn't see it ending that way!? I was messaging Christina a bit like. ":-O! He......"
Her reply was.... "I thought everyone would guess that."
I'm disappointed with myself for not coming to that conclusion earlier in the book. I literally thought it was a typical story of the 1920's with the typical love triangle. Which I did get and for me to say it is a good read, considering I'm a fuss-pot to love triangles and other general romance story. But the way it was written just makes you not feel the romance, but makes you concentrate on the realistics quotes that Fitzgerald had written.
My all time favourite quote that was written in the story was by said by the character Daisy, when she just gave birth to a daughter:
"I'm glad it's a girl. And I hope she'll be a fool- that's best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool."
Also the last sentence written in the book.
"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
That quote gives me strength and courage to carry on, whenever I feel stressed.
I wished I read it sooner, as I had a moment earlier on yesterday evening, where I was meant to be meeting a new friends and completely panicked and ran away. That'll be a new thing I need to work on from now on. I want to socialise!

Tuesday 18 June 2013

Isle of Wight Festival!

Yesterday on the 17th June, I came back from the Isle Of Wight feeling completely disgusting, smelly, tired and emotional about having to come back to reality! Reality bites when you love to escape. I am back now, I have bathed, showered, scrubbed every inch of body to get rid of four days of grime that has been building up. I have also gone back to reality and have done a full days work. I never wanted to cry so bad, when I woke up at six by my alarm!
This weekend will be another memory to me, another great adventurous memory. A memory that will remind me, that I still held back in social moments, but also step forwards in social moments and have spoken to strangers about drunken times and most importantly about music! Meeting Ryan, who I have been talking to over a year. Great guy. Been inspired about fashion festival clothing, being a bit more girlie in festival dressing. Inspired to hold my head up high and be the most positive person I wish to be. Okay, I also read an article in Cosmopolitan that also helped me with that 'positive attitude' mumble jumble. But it is another step to releasing this person that has been trapped in my head for years because of fear. She wants to break out now.
  
The bands I've watched live are bands, I have enjoyed for some time now. I saw:
Friday-

  • Palma Violets
  • Jake Bugg
  • Emeli Sandé
  • Ellie Goulding
  • The Stone Roses
  • Rizzle Kicks
I have never heard of Palma Violets before. I thought they were really good, fit my genre of music beautifully. Not too heavy nor to poppy. A perfect blend of Indie-Rock really. Jake Bugg, your typical moody British teenager, but still really good. Emeli Sandé is an inspiration and so is her music. Her song 'Read All About It' is something that helps me speak my mind. Ellie Goulding, I didn't see very much nor could I hear her very well. Slightly disappointed about that. The Stone Roses, was fantastic! Loved them and they played my favourite song, 'I wanna be Adored'. The perfect way to end the first night of festival music, was with a bit of Rizzle Kicks and 'Let's Get Down With The Trumpets'. Cheesy dancing was involved!
 
Saturday-

  • Lawson
  • Little Mix
  • Bastille
  • Ben Howard
  • BLOC PARTY
  • The Killers
It was the main reason why I came to the Isle Of Wight festival, to watch Bloc Party live! Then to learn that Little Mix and Bastille was playing there as well was like I struck gold at the end of the rainbow. Little Mix are my guilty pleasure along with admiring the One Direction boys and their voices.....
Lawson, I know I have heard on the radio many times, but I was still unsure if I liked them or not., would And it is safe to say, I enjoyed them! I am gutted to learn that a song I thought was sung by The Wanted was actually a Lawson song. Don't ask me which song it was, I don't know what it is called, or how it goes. Little Mix amazed me on stage with their skilled dancing and singing, well done for sketching the band out as well with being late. Great part is meeting a dedicated Little Mix guy fan. He seem to have a girl crush on ALL OF THEM. But he seemed cool!
BLOC PARTY was amazing, and I would love to see them live again! Or even shake their hands! It was a shame to see that the drummer wasn't there and I hope he is well! But they still took the stage by storm and was outstanding to watch. I just wish I could relive that hour again and again. By the time The Killers came on to play, I was so cold that even dancing to the music just to warm up became unbearable! But they was still great!
 
Sunday-

  • Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel 
  • Kodaline
  • Imagine Dragons
  • Young Gun
  • Bon Jovi
  • Blondie
Christina wanted to see Steve Harley, I'm pretty sure she really enjoyed him as well! Kodaline, I never heard of them before, even if they was on the radio. Radio 1, you can be useful at times?! But I fell in love. I really enjoyed them and an album purchase will be happening seeing as I learned they released it yesterday!
Imagine Dragons was amazing, they wowed the crowd with their talented musician skills of a variety texture of sounds and experimental bass. Young Guns supported the pre-teen mosh pits, but they still have my fan girl-ling moments, with their great songs and energy upon the stage. Bon Jovi and Blondie are just a great way to end a festival! Fireworks and classic songs.
This weekend has been amazing and unforgettable. I made a great new friend within Ryan. I met some interesting people and it has filled me with more hope to meet and befriends more interesting people. It also given me more hope to continue with my life and to stop wearing my emotions on my sleeve.
Makes me come to this quote, written by J.K.Rowling, voiced by character Severus Snape. " Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeve, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves be provoked so easily- weak people in other words- they stand no chance against his powers!"

Tuesday 11 June 2013

Post concussive syndrome!

I've banged my head.
It was epic!
Well okay, not really.

Post Concussive syndrome is just a case of a prolonged headache, that can last up to 10 days after you have banged your head.
It really is painful! Also the dizzy spells and what not! So before the Isle of Wight Festival, I am having to deal with this horrible headache!
So I won't be writing until I come back from Isle Of Wight. Which will be either, Tuesday or Saturday!
Ciao!


Oh, volunteer discussion was successful!

Sunday 9 June 2013

"Your Voice In My Head"

I've been inspired by this fantastic woman recently.

Emma Forrest
Emma Forrest is a writer. She started her career as a writer when she wrote a story based on Madonna for the London Evening Standard at the age of thirteen! She was born in London, but currently lives in LA with her Husband. During her writing carer she travelled the world to write a column for the Sunday times on British pop/indie bands. She has written three novels, known as; Thin Skin, Cherries in the storm and Namedropper. She then wrote a memoir, known as "Your Voice In My Head". And that is the book I want to write about. Her story in 'Your Voice In My Head' is what inspired me the most.
I picked this book when it first came out in 2011 and after reading the Blurb, I just felt that this is my type of book. It was also something completely different from what I normally read. Two years ago, I was more of a fantasy reader.
During the time, when I first read this book, I was in the midst of getting used to my new job. I was feeling lost, confused and generally just thinking: "Have I made the right decision?" This book related to me.
'Your Voice In My Head' is about Emma downward spiral in self harm, addiction to relationships and all other mental depression. It is where she meets a psychiatrist who helps Emma from herself; Dr. R. Just as Dr.R enters her life and Emma starts to feel remotely better, he is ripped from his life and from Emma's. How does Emma copes when losing her Anchor?
Okay, I'm not...Well, I don't think I am depressive and I haven't self harmed in a LONG time. (Wow, I just admitted that for the first time my readers.... Friends, no awkward conversation please).  And I really don't want you to think I related to the author, to the same level. Because I didn't. I related to her because at the same time I also felt lost.
The outcome of this story and why I felt so inspired by her, is her strength. This woman is so strong and a soul survivor. She released this man who was her anchor and found courage within her relationships to be the stronger person. She also continued to write. Her writing is one of her main inspiration for me, her 'voice' speaks to me in so many levels and she encourages me to write. Since reading her memoirs, I have wanted to write.
Time heals all wounds. And if it doesn’t, you name them something other than wounds and agree to let them stay.

 ‘You’re like Marilyn Monroe,’ he tells me, which I take as a compliment and say a nervous ‘Thank you.’ Interrupting, he adds, ‘You’re all velvet and velcro. Men want you because you’re sexy and broken and when it gets too tough they can say “Hey! This toy is broken!” and toss you aside without feeling bad.
"You can't  give unconditional love to somebody who hates themselves" Dr.R  
Quotes from 'Your Voice In My Head'.

 Two later and I find myself still stuck in the same way, since I felt inspired by her. I haven't made any production to move forward or any motivation to move on forward. Emma Forrest came again, through Elle Magazine and this time in a more positive note.
Happily married to the man, who brought her wedding dress. Happily married, to the one man that matters, happily married to the soul mate.
And this is the one quote that has sparked a new flame within me.
" Who feels like they have reached the end of their story, that they have too much history to past  and there isn't anywhere left to. 
It wasn't the end."






So thank you Emma, for inspiring what I hope to be the true and stronger me.











Thank you to Wikipedia.

Leave a comment on inspiring people in your lives, who has made you who you are today. I am honestly interested!

Saturday 8 June 2013

Finding those words...

I have been thinking alot about words recently.
It is amazing at how easily words can be mislead or used in the wrong context.
My colleagues and I have recently been having a conversation about the words interpretation or interpreted, how to use them in the sentence correctly and when are they being used in the right context.
Conversation like these stimulates me and encourages me more, in learning grammar and using words properly within a sentence. Basically, I just need to go back to school!

But finding those words has also got me thinking, what words could I use to describe me?
Like any young person, I am still trying to "find myself" and trying to "find that purpose in life."
Or in religious point of view, "Trying to find that reason, you was sent here for."
About two years ago I would have used the word: Extraordinary.
Extraordinary . adj. very unusual or remarkable.
The reason why I called myself extraordinary was because, people who was in the process of getting to know me actually found me weird. I was just at the point of coming out of my reserved/shy spell and becoming more talkative. Which is always based around Harry Potter, I can't help it!?
Weird. adj. strange in a frightening way.
So, I pretty much terrify people with my talk of Harry Potter in a loving fashion....

I have also found a new word. I found it the perfect way to describe me and consider it a new flaw of mine. Along with being terribly nice.
Naive. adj. Lacking experience, wisdom or judgement.
It's a flaw I have been wearing on my sleeve recently. But just like in Bastille song: "Flaws" 
"We need them to be who we are, without them we'll be doomed."

So, I am going to control not showing this flaw, whilst trying to "Sort my life out."
As so many people put it that way. 

Comment and tell me what words would you use to describe yourself? I am curious!


P.S. I might have found my "topic." I am currently researching Icons and arts. Also going through an experiment of combinations. Which involves a lot drawing!!

Saturday 1 June 2013

There are

Some quotes that I just love from Christina....

Some of them contributes from this video.

But my favourite one we formed together today is:

"The one time I was worried about you, was when you was with..."
"Oh, god... I was crazy. I went all Taylor Swift?"
"You did!"
"I knew you was, friends with benefits!"
"That song is so relevant to those times, Took me to places I've never been"
"Well, actually Christina. He only took to me to his bedroom floor"

Best quote ever really.



Damn you wine!

Cardiff!

A beautiful sunny day. A perfect day to go shopping in Cardiff.
But, so did the Rugby fans thought it would be a great day to drink and watch the Rugby. I hope you had fun Rugby fans! :D!r
I most certainly had fun!
I have felt proper girlie and have been a little more daring on my outfit choices! When I say daring, I actually mean stepping out of my comfort zone of jeans, plain top and a boyfriend Cardigan. Pretty much my work clothes!!
No, today I decided to step out of the comfort zone and try something different. And that did actually mean wearing leggins with a short top! Bitches, I did that!
It was great, I am so happy to be feeling more confident in my body to be doing this daring fashion style.
I love fashion as it is.
But yes, I felt a whole new confidence come over me and it was great!
Also with the sun shinning, I just felt awesome.
Getting the train to Cardiff took us over two hours, Christina and I used that time to just chat about our lives, the world and some other random crap. We also talked about going to IOW and seeing a new band in November!! I love live music!
We also did the girlie shopping fun and pranced around the shops and trying on clothes. Which resulted me to get this outift!
I did say it was an essential for a festival to buy a statement top.
This one is mine. WOW! I love the comic book styles, but would rather read Manga to an actual comic book.
And yes, I went there and got myself the skater girl skirt.
About time! I've always been scared to, but this time it is more on the case of: I would like to wear what I want to wear now.















So hold that head up high and wear what you want to wear! It's time to be proud of who you are.
P.S. I'm tired and had some wine. I would like to sleep, but will do as soon as my video of trying Bertie Botts every flavour beans.
Oh, yeah! I found an American sweetshop in Cardiff and brought some sweets!
I tried a sausage flavour one, banana one and an Earwax one.
I am suppose to be a vegetarian, it more on the case I don't like the taste of the meat, but when I do go travelling I want to try as much of the food as I can.
So the sausage one didn't go down to well!











Claire!