It starts right now...

There has been a saying recently, that I have been overusing.

"Tomorrow, I will start...."

As soon as tomorrow comes and a days work put behind me, whatever I was meant to be starting has become, "Tomorrow, I will do this".

When I was thinking of something to write for this weeks/every other day post, (OK let's face it, when I can be bothered to write). I had many ideas in mind that was flown into the wind when I said those words, "tomorrow, I will write this post.." 
Two days later, I was still thinking; tomorrow this post will be written. It only dawned on me yesterday, that I have been putting off a lot of things. A lot of wishes, desires or life changing/working towards decisions.

Why am I still putting tasks and actions off? What is possibly going on inside my head that is stopping me from doing things? I really wasn't lying when I said I was the queen of procrastinations. But since when did I start forgetting about my self control into doing things or stopping me from doing things I shouldn't be doing.

I have only decided that I am being consumed by fear. Wanting to do things that are outside my comfort zone or outside my box. I become so overwhelmed of what could happen and inside my head they are never positives thoughts.
I want to go to university and gain an English Literature degree. Which I have decided to do something about it in January, we have now rolled into May. I have spent three months of putting it off. Only managing a course research and destinations I would like to explore and move too. I have also learned that for me to do the degree is to go back into college for a year because, they do not accept my current qualifications. Now I am in May, I have pretty much convinced myself that I have missed the student loans deadline and will have to wait another year again.
The need to take on exercising again! I keep saying this, since I moved to Bristol and have so far managed to go running ten-fifteen times. Working and being stuck in traffic for over an hour can really take it out of you physically and mentally. By the time I have reached home from the traffic, I am pretty much ready to give up on life altogether.

These are now becoming poor excuses. Am I good enough? Am I good enough to live my life the way I want to live it? Everyone says yes to that. I even say yes to it, so why am I different from that?
So I am going to CHANGE  my ways. The key word being change and not trying, because I know if I had put, "I am going to try and change my ways." Things won't get done.
Researching, reading and looking things up will be my starting right now point. Creating ad dream board and revising the wants realistically. It's to stand up and fight the "tomorrow" monster with my sword of "Getting it done now."

The tree with many eyes.

Have you met the tree with many eyes?

The tree with many eyes are not well known or very few,  but they are ancient. You may find one in any part of the world, where you least expect it. For they hide in the deepest of places.

The tree with many eyes are visible to anybody that looks without actually seeing. The eyes are always open to anyone who sees them, for they never seem to close. 

The tree with many eyes are not harmful, they can not even move. Just like any tree, they grow with their roots in the ground and stay until the end of time. 

The tree with many eyes just observe. They observe the world of the living, of the dead. The young grow to old. The visible to the naked eye and the invisible. They have seen many things throughout the years of their lives, they preserve everything within their bark, their roots, their branches, their seasons of leaves. 

The tree with many eyes has seen everything around them. They may have even created their own judgement of the world they have seen. The changes they have witnessed during their long lives. For the judgements they may have created, will never be heard. The tree with many eyes do not have mouths and if the situation would ever arise, where the tree with many eyes feel the need to voice their judgement. A mouth will form ready to voice out, to shout out. A mouth will come and only be filled with a sprouting branch, for that tree with many eyes can not and may never let others hear that cry out. 

The tree with many eyes can only live in silence, to keep their mind, their voice in secret from what they have observed. 

The tree with many eyes are only the wallflower of the world.