Happiness

Hello world! Happy Sunday and all that?

So, there I was in a fitting room in Zara. Trying on this top, that I saw on the hanger and wondered if it looked good on me. It's mid month and I am now in my need of saving money. I hated myself to admit, the top was fantastic! It looked great on hanger and I felt great wearing it. Suitable and stylish for many years to come in the summer.
I wanted it. My insides of being a secret shopaholic was screaming at my mind that I needed this top, that this top was the answers to all things that is wrong with my life. This top would bring me eternal happiness when being paraded around town.
My mind, my sweet logical thinking mind had told me no. Had reminded me that I need to save my money so I can pack up and move to a different destination. My heart and head are craving a new scene, a new adventure and new challenges. Half of it, is also wanting to run away. But most of it, is the need to live in a new scene.
The truth is; I currently hated my mind right there and then. I needed that top, I was feeling low and feminine shit. I wanted something I could take away that could cheer me up. Just like how the Sex and the City girls went shopping after every heart break they was experiencing. NB: I am still currently watching Sex and the City so correct my if I am wrong. I returned it back to the fitting room assistant, who looked mighty pissed off for working on a sunny Saturday afternoon and having someone just trying on clothes and not actually buying it. (I'm sorry for that). I made my way to sit on the centre green, just like every other young adult. The difference, I was alone and drinking water. They was with friends and drinking any alcohol that the local Sainsbury or Tesco express could offer. Jealous of them and resenting my lack of purchase, I could only do what I know can cheer me up cheaply. I wrote, I had a strange dream the night before and I am still attempting to write it down. I escaped the reality and into my world and then into the world of Murakami.
Three hours later, I was seeing sense. That in two weeks, will be payday and I may just be in luck of being able to find that same top in either the shop or online and that top will be mine. I have also just saved myself some pennies to be able to have that new adventure.
Although, I still need the happiness of shopping and owning beautiful clothing. Saving and living is another bigger happiness that last a lifetime.

And then there is the happiness of dancing and singing a long to your iPod on the long walk to your shared house.
Claire